Non Stop-tober (Part.2)

Owen has been going to Nascot Lawns every Thursday for over a month now. Last week was the first time the staff said they thought he truly enjoyed it, instead of just tolerating it. Hearing that Owen had a fun time was a huge relief,  I was beginning to worry I was doing the wrong thing. I always feel guilty about leaving him and feel like I letting him down or that it maybe wrongly perceived that I think he is a burden which is far from the truth. I know I worry to much. I shouldn't worry as the staff are fantastic and now Owen enjoys it hopefully my guilt will start to fade. I just hope that the tears at drop off and pick up times will soon ease.Tears are mainly from Florence. I am still not sure if she is upset that we are leaving Owen, Or tears of worry that she will be left too. She just feels so unsure about the whole thing,  as soon as we step through the door she gets upset then Owen gets upset too.

Before we arrive at Nascot Lawns and after we have dropped of Lilly at school we take a slow walk through the town centre, right to the top. The twins then love  to stop at the new "controversial  redeveloped" pond. This pond is controversial because it cost so much money to regenerate and not many people think it was money well spent. The twins are probably the ponds biggest fans. Florence loves seeing the ducks and the pigeons and Owen absolutely loves the water fountain. Across the pond is a bridge which brings you so close to one of the fountains that you can feel the spray in your face. The sound of the water fountain crashing down is louder here too. Owen absolutely loves both these things. Owen looks and laughs every time.  Maybe we should invest in a water feature for our garden.

On the 22nd of this month it Lilly's 7th birthday, It was a Wednesday which meant school and the girls after school dance class. Lilly didn't mind. We all had to get up extra early that morning so Lilly could open some of her presents before Dad went to work. We opened the remained presents after we got home from dancing. Lilly had a fantastic day.

The following weekend we all went bowling for Lilly's birthday treat. Florence had my go using the ramp. Florence loved watching it speed down the lanes knocking over the skittles. Florence didn't however love waiting her next turn. Owen wasn't  to keen on the whole bowling experience. Owen did have a go but I think the noise and the whole atmosphere was really overwhelming for him. He got quite upset. This increased further when a new family started there game next to us, amongst them was a very loud and very competitive Dad. "Competitive Dad" shouted instructions, bouncing around showing off his "winning techniques"  Alex and I found the whole experience quite stressful. I am also considering buying Owen some ear defenders. The main thing was Lilly & Bethany had a fun time.

Florence had her two year old development while Owen was at Nascot Lawns. For this appointment I had to bring a completed questionaire concerning her development. This was upsetting as according to what the questions asked are Florence is very delayed in many areas. I am concerned about her lack of speech.
 This view is also shared by Owen's own Speech therapist. I have to take Florence to a Speech and Language drop in clinic. A health visitor later phoned me at home to say they Were going to refer Florence to see a Community Paediatrician. It is easy to forget the long lasting problems being a ex-premmie can bring.

What a month October was. There were a few more appointments I haven't mentioned as.otherwise this would be a very long read. There was a parents evening (well done Lilly) and then Opportunity Class, dance classes, after school sports clubs to contend with but it's all good fun.
We also had a few milestones to celebrate... The Twin's due date was the 19th October.. now they are two professionals no longer correct age so this date may soon be forgotten. (Obviously not by us)
The 2nd Anniversary of Owen's Home Coming was on the 23rd October...
and of course it was Halloween.

We also had some good news which means big changes are coming soon.. hopefully will occur this November.
Watch this space xxx

Non Stop-tober Part 1

Non stop-tober part 1

October was yet again another busy month. Last year I wrote a post about October being, must be an October thing.

 The 1st of October was World Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day.
After such a good response to National Cerebral palsy day in March I wanted to again help in some way raise more awareness.
So myself and a fellow Facebook mum whose gorgeous little boy of Owen's age also has Cerebral Palsy decided to set up a page dedicated to the day. We suggested everyone post "Selfies" of themselves wearing green, Changing profile pictures and posting on their walls anything green or awareness based. Basically we wanted to turn Facebook green for the day.
 We had a fantastic response, It truly was overwhelming.
The page it self got near to 500 likes and we join up with other pages who were also doing green "selfies" to raise and share further awareness who then did the same for our page.  Thank you to everyone that got involved.

It got me thinking though about maybe in the future setting up or taking part in something bigger. I want to.somehow not only to raise awareness but to help changed the life's of people who have Cerebral Palsy or any disabilities really. I have a few ideas, but they are taking time to get off the starting blocks. But maybe watch this space.

October for Owen was a fully booked month of appointments to contend with. First appointment of the month being a Physiotherapy appointment.
It was the first time I had ever brought a Physiotherapy appointment forward.  I was having major concerns that Owen's tone had drastically increased. He seemed very stiff and at times unmovable. It also seemed that Owen was in a lot more pain. This was especially apparent while undergoing his daily stretches and exercises and it got to the point where putting on his boots was near impossible because of the position of his feet.
So Owen's Physiotherapists and myself decided the time had come that Owen will have to wear leg splints. We got an appointment to be measured for them in January.
We also increased his Balcofen. This increase took a few weeks to adjust as we can only increase the dose bit by bit, till we got a dose that seem again to work at a appropriate level with no side effects

All wrapped up for October

On the same day as that Physiotherapy appointment and a little over an hour later, Owen had his second appointment of the month which was a hearing test. My mum met me at the centre to sit with Florence while I took Owen in. I knew it was not going to be a smooth ride, when as I was carrying Owen in from reception to the room as Owen's name was called, one of the ladies who would carried out the test commented on how Owen was laying against me as I carried him in instead of him walking, by asking if he was asleep.
If that wasn't enough when I reached the room I was met by a small Children's size table and chairs with some games on all set up for Owen to sit down and play. As I sat down on a chair (adult size) with Owen on my lap supporting him fully. Alarm hit the two ladies eyes as it came apparent they had made a mistake and they have not read his notes. One of the two said they wanted to ask a few questions about Owen and his development, while she did the other candidly put the toys away. I managed to keep my cool and answer the questions matter of factly. Is it really bad of me to admit I did take some enjoyment from watching them squirm? I did my standard summary of Owen's medical history.
I think they were lucky, I mean anyone else or even myself on a bad day could had completely lost it.. either with complete rage or with tears.
Being constantly reminded that your child does not follow the "normal" development of a child is hard and quite frankly something we could do with less of.

They did continue to go ahead with the test. With Owen on my lap facing them, they got a noisy  toy and set if off either side of his head. They wanted him to turn his head to the side which it was. I explained that Owen finds turning his head hard work especially while on my lap, but in his supportive chair at home he does turn his head to both sides to hear noises. I also told them that his facial expressions would change if he heard the noises, but as he was facing away from me I couldn't help them out. Although I felt his body tense also a sign he heard the noise, They weren't convinced and gave up. They said it was hard to do a test on someone who couldn't sit independently. They did manage to get a positive reading on the test where they put earphone s in Owen's ear. They said they will re-test again in 6 months and see what his development is like then. I did then snap that I don't think I would come to that appointment as it may be a waste of time again if they were just going to do the same and even though I am forever hopeful,  maybe expecting Owen to be able to sit unaided in the next 6 months is maybe a hope to far? I came out of that appointment feeling sadden & frustrated. If I wasn't in such a rush to go and do the school run I would of made a complaint then and there.

(Part 2 coming soon)

New Beginnings and Old Routines

September brings the start of new beginnings and old routines.

This September was a big one in the Skelton Household.

Bethany started her first year at senior school. Coming with this new start and new school came lots of new independence and new responsibilities. At times I wasn't sure who was more anxious and nervous as we reached this major milestone.
The solo walk into town to catch a bus. In charge of her Oyster card, School ID & payment card, Mobile phone and front door keys. That was even before she started her school experience. I am pleased to say she is coping incredibly well. In fact I  would go as far as to say she is positively thriving. I hope the newness of the situation doesn't wear off. But at this present time I couldn't be prouder.

Owen too had a new beginning, as September brought about Owen starting at a place called Nascot Lawns.

 Nascot Lawns is a Children's Service where they offer Respite care for Children with Additional and Medical needs. Under 3 this consists of a place in there day Nursery. In older children this can also consist of an overnight stay. Each child receives 1:1 care by specialist Nurses  and Nursery staff.

It truly is a lovely place. The building they use is a huge detached house which is set up to remain to feel like a beautiful home, with the added addition of specialised equipment and numerous bedrooms downstairs. Nascot Lawns also has the most wonderful sensory room.

After a few visits and sorting out of care plans, Owen starting his first full day last Thursday 10 to 2.30pm. Being his first full day and one of his first few experiences away from me, Owen was a little unsettled and upset at times. Not really the thing you want to hear when you already feel the guilt for leaving him. Florence also cried when we left him. I am hoping he will soon settle and leaving him will feel less traumatic.

With Owen being at Nascot Lawns for the best part of the day, Thursday has now become Mummy & Florence day. A day where I can solely focus on little Florence. A day to do mainstream activities others take for granted. I hoping the distance between the twins will help prepare them for when they start separate nursery schools. A chance for each of them to thrive independently.

With new beginnings also come.the return of old routines.  Back to the school run. With Bethany having to leave the house earlier the whole household needs to be up and moving a little bit more earlier.

Lilly is glad to be back at school. I Can't quite believe she is now in year two. She has settled back into her routine well. She still thinks it is funny that  after the 6 week holidays she still has no front teeth. The girls dance class has started back again. Lilly also starts her after school multi sports club next week. Lilly is also on major countdown to her Birthday next month. Fingers crossed she doesn't ask for me to make her a Flamingo Birthday Cake.

EYSDC - Early Years Specialist Development Centre (formerly known as Opportunity class) has started back again. We now go Monday to Wednesday.

Many many appointment letters have dropped through the letter box so a busy couple of months is ahead of us, but that's nothing new. 

So like I have already said September means for us "New Beginnings & Old Routines"

Life's A Beach

Here at "Team Skelton" we have recently got back from our summer holiday to Hemsby Norfolk just near Great Yarmouth.

Life's A Beach

The run up to our week away was definitely a stressful one. Owen as usual had appointments. We met his new Speech Therapist and it was a pleasant and positive meet. She was full of new ideas and I hope it is the kick start we need to see some real progress in this area. We will meet her weekly at "Opps" Class. She is willing to also, to do home visits as and when we feel we need them. Unfortunately our last appointment on the Friday was not so positive. It was with his lovely Physio Karen. I am not really sure I want to go into full details right now, as I am still digesting what was said and deciding what the next plan of action we will take concerning this.
          But as you can imagine a holiday was certainly well needed. Although the place it self was not a place we would of booked ourselves. We were lucky to go anywhere. It was thanks to Alex's friend who owns a mobile home caravan and he let us rent it for a very reasonable price.
 It wasn't so much a place where you could get away from it all.. or go for a bit of peace and quiet. But the kids truly loved it and we all had a fantastic time.

 

We spent as much time at the Beach as we could. We were very lucky with the weather, Especially at the beginning of the week. Hemsby beach was a lovely sandy beach and it was quite easy to access. Pulling a double buggy across the sand was a bit of a workout so we definitely earned our Fish and Chips. Bethany said her favourite memory was swimming and floating deeper in the sea with dad while singing "Drifting". Bethany certainly showed off her new improved swimming skills.

We brought Owens Bath seat to use as a deckchair for Owen which was very successful.

Owen loved the feel of the sand and the cool wind in his face. Owen had a fantastic time. Florence took some convincing. She was ok with the dry sand but at first was unsure of the wet "sinking" sand nearer the sea. Florence was eager to paddle in the sea but was a little unsure of the crashing of the waves. After a little reassurance she was soon having great fun too. Owen surprised us all with how much he liked paddling in the sea. He thought the crashing waves were Hilarious.

 We also brought along with us The twins pop up tent, Florence took a quick nap on the beach in and Owen sheltered from the wind when it got too much. Owen loved laying in the tent laughing so much at the wind blowing the colourful fabric.

 On a rainy day we went to a Swimming Pool, which was another great experience. Owen has recently made great improvement in the Bath so we were keen to see if this improvement extended to the swimming pool. Our previous trips to the pool have resulted in me spending most of my time sitting at the side of the pool slowing trying to coax a screaming Owen in. But this time he loved it. He was so relaxed in the water, while lying on his back he managed to kick like a frog. When we held him upright he kept his head up the whole time. We didn't even need to try his neck ring that we had brought. At this swimming pool they had a wave machine both Twins and the girls found this great fun. I did have to get out early. Even with his wetsuit Owen couldn't keep his temperature up so I left Alex and the girls and got Owen warmed up and dressed.




Another great day was spend at a Local Maize Maze. A fellow visitor gave us her map as she was leaving. We vowed not to use it unless we were really stuck. A hour in the map came out, but it still took us a further hour to get out. We couldn't wait to eat our picnic lunch. Afterwards there were Go Karts, Bouncy Castles, Trampolines and Garden Games to play with. It was an "AMAZING" day.






sorry for the bad quality my phone was running out of battery

Another surprise Owen had in store for us is his love of Fireworks.



 Coming from a boy who startles often,

cries hysterically at the sound of someone sneezing or coughing and has a real fear of hand dryers we thought the loud sudden bangs would be too much for him.

We knew that evening Fireworks were to take place at the local the Beach and as we were out at the amusements and fair nearby we thought we had better head back to the safety of our caravan. Where we would have Hot Chocolates. About half an hour after we got back they started. As they were less than 100m away the girls went out with their Hot Chocolates to watch them. Alex and I grabbed a twin each and went outside to join them. Florence clung to be tightly, but didn't seem overly worried as she watched the sky light up in all shades of colour. Owen watched with pure delight laughing and squealing as each bang was heard, mesmerised by the colours. It was another one of those moments.

We had so many more moments and brilliant times, too many too share, But here is a few more of our Holiday Snaps.

paddling in the sea

picnic on Great Yarmouth Beach 

Owen ready for another day at the Beach

 

 

 

 

 

 Life's A Beach!!!!

 

 

 

The difference between looking at Medical Notes Vs Looking at the child

 

As you can imagine Owen has many appointments. After most of those appointments we sometimes receive a written report about what was discussed and found at that particular appointment. A copy of that letter is also sent to his local GP and various relevant others.
At the top of these letters is Owens list of medical issues written in bullet point form. Sometimes all his "issues" are listed, sometimes just mixture of a few of those they seem relevant for that appointment. This list can also is used to summarise Owen's medical side when being referred to new services.  

Here is an example.

• Ex Prematurity born at 28 weeks gestation 
• Cystic Peri ventricular Leukomalacia  (PVL) confirmed on MRI scan
• Spastic Quadriplegia Cerebral Palsy
• Retinopathy of prematurity and ongoing opthalmological concerns (eyes)
• Global Developmental delay
• Dysphagia (swallowing difficulties)

 I feel uneasy doing this, but I hope it may give some of you who may not know more of an idea of Owen's medical issues so you know where I am coming from in other posts.
 I most likely feel uneasy writing this is probably because I usually skim that part of the letter now and just look for anything new that wasn't discussed at the appointment.. normally following by a session on google etc.
No matter how many times you read it, it never becomes easy reading.



The trouble with solely looking at the medical side is that you can get so bogged down with the negative.  I feel it is my job as Owens advocate to express the positives.  I feel I have to do this at most appointments. Particularly if whoever we may be seeing that day has never met Owen and has only read his notes.
So far at both Community Paediatric appointments that we have had Owen has took them by surprise. Owen on paper can be  very bleak reading. During appointments I make sure they meet the real Owen not just another name on the list or a NHS number. Both times they say "he has real spirit.. he has a lot going on.. he is determined." 
Owen can be a real charmer and I always feel an appointment has gone better if they get the chance to meet the real Owen.

 I cling to those positive comments much more than our first discussions with doctors about the future. Where we first got told by a consultant that Owen had PVL. The Consultant went on to say it was was one of the worse cases he had seen in his career.. In the same meeting he said couldn't tell us what he would or would not be able to do. We were told to take it one day at a time. To expect he may not reach any milestones not even to SMILE.



The consultant told us about all the support Owen would get to help him reach his full potential. The Consultant made sure many services were aware and even got a physiotherapist to visit him in his bed while still in SCBU to do an assessment for a referral so that would be in place as we left.

 I remember the end of that conversation with the Consultant. He told us doctors didn't know everything and what ever we did  what we must not do is give up on HOPE
 ... so that's what we do... we HOPE.

I can not believe I haven't made a blog entry for a little over 3 months.  I am not really sure where to start or what to write about? I guess in my next few posts I will just try and give you a condensed overview of the last 3 months regarding Owens progress and on goings.

The first thing I should mention is a follow up about Owens previous eye test results from Great Ormond Street.
If you remember in simple terms this test was to see how Owens receives and processes the signals and messages from his eyes to his brain. This was done by placing Electrode's on his head and making him watch a TV screen showing a children's DVD while at different intervals being interrupted by flashes of different black and white patterns. 
Visual Impairment is another one of those things linked to Cerebral Palsy and is one of my many concerns regarding Owen.

As I sat in the waiting room at Watford Eye Clinic to receive the results I began to feel increasingly nervous. We were first called in for a simple eye test, something that Owen never really does well in. I asked if they had the results and the doctor said they were not in the file, but more than likely the consultant who I would be seeing next would have them. The doctor explained without the results they couldn't really decide what the next cause of action would be. I knew instantly what he met and voiced what he was trying to skirt round telling me. If the results were bad and Owen wasn't receiving those messages and basically couldn't see... there would be no point in looking into glasses. I then got told to go back into the waiting room to wait for the consultant. I felt sick I was basically waiting to find out if my son could see!!!
Just to complicate things further the consultant did not have the results, so he had to phone Great Ormond Street to get them to fax them over to him. The consultant asked me if I wanted to wait further in the waiting room or go home and he would call me. I said I would wait.  Finally 2 hours after my appointment time I got called in to talk to the Consultant... The results came back NORMAL!!!!!

Obviously we still have concerns with Owens sight and are not out of the woods yet. His eyes are developmentally delayed and he is long sighted. We are too go back for another eye test in June then again in September where we will also see the consultant.
But for the moment we can just be relieved.

Progress

Selfie

 I take Owen and Florence to Opportunity Class three days a week now, which is great.

Opportunity Class is now known as " Early years special development team" doesn't really roll off your tongue does it .? So  I will continue to call it "Opps Class"

This week we made fruit smoothies.. which included touching, tasting and chopping fruit.  Florence was in her element.. Florence loves to eat. Owen enjoyed feeling the fruit and even ate some kiwi!!

We also had fun making valentines cards. Owen gave his to his big sisters and Florence gaves hers to Daddy.

The speech therapist came to Opps class but unfortunately didn't get eound to seeing us so will have to try and get a home appointment. I was keen to see her as Owen has been a lot more vocal recently and I want some advice on the next steps.

Valentines Card 

Wednesday afternoon I had a text confirming our Community paediatricians consultant appointment for Friday.  This was a surprise as I hadn't made one.

So braving the rain again on friday we went off to the appointment.
It went pretty well.

Owen was remarkably alert and smiling away during the whole appointment.  Owen made great eye contact throughout.
 She noted how much his high tone has improved since the last appointment last October his legs were then always so stiff as a board with toes pointing downwards, his arms were the same with his hands tightly fisted. It was very hard to move his limbs and dressing was tricky... it still is to be honest.
The consultant was particularly pleased with his hands, as they were more relaxed and not always as tightly fisted as they had previously been. His thumbs are still constantly tucked into the palm of his hands though so we will continue to get Owen to wear his hand splints and massage and work on his hands.

The consultant checked his spine and its lovely and straight.

As we already knew his hip x ray came back normal. Owen will have to have a hip
x ray at least once a year.

She was very impressed that Owen got through having bronchitis and a recent cold without a hospital admittance considering his history... touch wood it stays that way.
Even though he still has a cough and sounds very stuffed up his chest was clear. But we are still to be on tender hooks as any sign of him becoming chesty we are to seek medical help sooner rather than later... so again touch wood as winter hasn't finished with us yet.

Owens sight is still a concern, but we will no more next month when we get the results of Owens recent tests. That I have to say is scarying the @#$* out of me. As I know they won't come back all positive. .. but too what the negative is.. I honestly do not know?

One cause for concern that was flagged up was when I was explaining my worries about Owens sight, I explained that sometimes Owen seems to have moments of blankness. Where he just stares into space. The consultant warned me to keep an eye on these as if they increase it may indicate that Owen is having absent seizures.. (something I have googled.. but the staring can also relate to CVI  which is to do with his sight and brain messages being jumbled.. which also after googling previously if one of the things I think the eye test may show)

Overall Owen showed improvement and no new immediate action needs to be taken, just more of the same.  Keep working hard with the Physiotherapists and Occupational therapists. Continue working hard at home. Keep up with the Early years intervention. Continue using all the equipment at home.  We both agreed that all of the above has helped Owen tremendously.
So basically we are doing everything that is possible... so just keep going.

Owen playing drums in his Jenx bee special needs chair

Too much hard work... Zzzzz

Every Picture Tells a Story

Here's a picture

Here's the story

This picture captures the first time I was able to hold and cuddle Florence. It was taken on the 3rd August 2012 a full week after the twins were born. Before then it would be hard to imagine not being able to hold your own baby for so long after birth. Let me tell you it hurt.

Still when I look at this picture it hurts.

I look into my (make up free due to crying) pained eyes and look at my almost absent smile and remember my mixed emotions of that very moment.

I am right back in NICU. I can hear the beeping and sound of alarms. The sounds used to follow me home and haunt me in my dreams.

Looking down at my tiny tiny Florence, So small I could hardly feel her on me, just a warmth against my skin amongst  the many wires, tubes, CPAP equipment and heavy IV lines. What was supposed to be a magical moment was tainted with feelings of fear... "what if Im hurting her?" Fears for what may come next or what may not?

I remember also having feelings of guilt. Owen was very poorly at the time of this picture. Owen was on a ventilator (for the first time but not the last). Owen was far away from being able to cuddle. Owen associated touch with pain.. with procedures he had to endure on a daily basis.. we were only just starting to build up to being able to touch him.. to comfort hold him (placing a steady hand on him) we had times when holding Owen seem an impossible dream.

Now don't get me wrong... holding Florence was a moment of joy.. a moment to celebrate... a moment to mother. I became to live for those cuddles. I craved them. I needed them sometimes more then Florence needed them. I have spoke about Florence being my ray of hope during the darkest days. I would hold her and feel the hope. I could then past this onto Owen.

Mainly when I look at this picture I feel that in  some ways it summaries our NICU journey, well the emotionality of It anyway. Its a journey where you can both feel Joy and Sadness, Be fearful but brave, feel despair but remain hopeful all at the very same moment. 

Every picture really can tell a story.

A day of Trains & Tests

Today Alex, myself and the twins took a train ride to London, As today was Owens appointment to attend the Eye Clinic at Great Ormond Street to have his Electrobe Diagnosis Eye Test.

We had a bit of a wait as the clinic was running over (aren't they always) but a little over a hour after our appointment time we were seen by Consultant Mr Liasis and his team. Alex tried to keep Florence occupied as I sat in a chair holding Owen facing a plasma tv screen. Little electrobes were then fixed to different positions over his head and later also under his eyes. (The Electrobes are just like ones used for a ECG)
We were then played a childrens dvd.. this one was a Maktron Singing and signing dvd about the farm... Owen seem to enjoy it.
At various intervals the dvd was interrupted with different images and patterns... mainly black and white chequerboard flashing squares alternating with a grey background. The dvd was then breifly played back on the screen... this went on for a while.
Then a big light was repeatedly flashed close to Owens face covering his left and then his right eye.

While the test was going on Alex said from where he was seating he could see one of Mr Liasis team computer screen  which was showing lots and lots of graphs. She was also making notes as the test went on.. though Alex said all he could see was her writing mainly numbers. Alex also said a camera was fliming Owen as the test was in progress.

We haven't got any results from today, As all the graphs and results need to be carefully anaysled. This can take days or weeks. The results will then be sent to Owens consultant at Watford General who will discuss and talk us through all the findings. Unfortunately this isn't till March.

Strangly Owen seemed to enjoy the day out. He loved the train from Watford Junction to Euston. Owen seemed to get real excited as we went through a tunnel or as a train sped past our train.

Shaky blurred pic taken on a very wobbly train... as you can see the excitement was too much for Florence.

Owen even seem to mind the test Itself.. flirting with all the doctors.. showing off his gorgeous smile and his cheeky laugh.

After the test had finished we walked to Kings Cross Station  to feed the babies before we set off home. Owen seemed to relish the buzz of the station and was on top form. 

 

Despite being rush hour the train journey was pretty easy as we got the fast train back. I even managed to get a seat, which was useful as Owen was qutie rightly fed up and needed a cuddle.

Best Wishes for the New Year!!!

We are now a few days into the new year and already my calender is filling up fast.

Firstly I want to wish every a very Happy New Year!!!!

Pictures of our New Years eve

I am not usually one for setting myself New Years resolutions although last year I did set myself one. It was too become a little more selfish.. remember I can say no.. and do not feel guilty about saying no.. you can't keep everyone happy all the time.. put yourself and your family first.
I think I am on my way to achieving this.

In the same spirit I have been thinking of new ones I could set.
Maybe to accept help or feel less guilty about accepting help when offered.
I definitely need to find myself some "me time" or take up something I enjoy or even finding time to escape with a book.
On the same theme maybe finding time to spend with Alex on a (very) occasional date night .. any offers of babysitters?? (Also wld help achieve point one ;-)

Im looking forward in a positive way to find more & more ways to help & support Owen to achieve even more of his milestones and inchstones. To look forward to all the suprises he will no doubt bring :-) my lil warrior! !!

I look forward to Florence continuing to flourish into a little girl and hope she maintains her fierce determination and independence.

Beth has a big year ahead. Last year in primary school with SATS on the way. Finding out what secondary school she will go to. Then starting that school in September.  Its a very scary time and I will continue to support her through the tantrums and tears as she muddles through tweenager years. I know my kind caring... cheeky and humouress girl will make me proud.

She is also the best big sister anyone could ever want xxx


Lilly will no doubt continue to relish school. My quirky funny happy girl will no doubt continue to get me in trouble with her out spokeness.

Then there is us... I think Me and Alex really really hope we can finally move into a bigger house this year. Our house is literally bursting at the seams.


What ever life brings this year.. we know that as a family we can deal with it.
We know this year will be full of tears and laughter.

Best wishes to you all.